I didn’t know there was such a thing.
I do now.
I have misplaced more common objects than you can imagine. Keys, glasses, a drinking glass, a painting. How does this happen?
In my case, grief. No other way to reconcile it, just grief.
I am getting better every day. I still look in the spare bedroom on my way by, every time, which is where Ivan used to sit. He’s still not there. I know he’s never going to be there again, but I can’t help looking.
I feel fairly confident that this episode of my life will subside in time, and probably sooner than later. I tell myself that I am alone, I will always be alone, and that I need to get used to it.
I’m trying. I really am. Some days I’m not as convinced as others, but then I can go a few days in a row, and be just about ok. Personally, I don’t think it has anything to do with faith, as I have a strong faith that the Lord is holding me up, and giving me the courage to continue.
It’s me. I find I have days, moments within those days, where I just can’t go on. I have to get out of the apartment, and go for a walk, long, or short makes no difference. I just need to get out of here. Here, where I’m alone. With my grief.
Until next time, stay happy, and healthy in the Lord.