Month: October 2025

I did it.

I got in the car this morning, drove up the narrow incline in the garage, took a left, and was on my way, by myself, driving in Mexico City.

Mind you it was 10:30am on Mexico’s Independence Day, celebrating their independence from Spain, so I was almost the only one on the streets. Ok by me.

I used my Waze (GPS) app just in case I couldn’t remember how to get there. I didn’t need it but I’m here to tell you that knowing where you’re going from the driver’s perspective is, to me, completely different to the passengers perspective.

I got to Home Depot, got through the doors, and just stood there, trying to remember what I wanted to look for. I texted my sisters, and one answered back that I was there to look for paint samples. Yes. Thanks. That was exactly one of the things I wanted to look for. Now, I just needed to remember the 2 other things on my list.

Well, I walked around the entire store, taking my time, looking at this, that, and every other thing on the shelves. Nope, don’t need that, don’t need that, and those? I have more at home in the toolbox than you do on the shelf.

I found the paint aisles, and found 3 color samples that I’m going to try. I’m thinking to paint one, maybe 2 adjacent walls in the bedroom with Fresh Guacamole. It’s by BEHR, and it’s a gentle green that I think will be cheerful, and relaxing at the same time.

I also chose fairly bold shad of yellow called Squash Blossom that I’m going to use down one side of the hallway that one would see coming in the front door. It’s on an East facing wall so it gets no direct sunlight. The wall opposite it is white, and will reflect the light coming into the hallway from the window in the spare bedroom. Win, win.

Lastly, I have a warm green called Fresh Artichoke that I’m going to use to paint the cabinetry in the kitchen. That will be sometime after the new year I suspect as I have to clean, remove, and sand all of the fronts before I do anything like painting. I’m not ready for that yet.

Happy Halloween.

Until next time, stay happy, and healthy in the Lord.

I didn’t know there was such a thing.

I do now.

I have misplaced more common objects than you can imagine. Keys, glasses, a drinking glass, a painting. How does this happen?

In my case, grief. No other way to reconcile it, just grief.

I am getting better every day. I still look in the spare bedroom on my way by, every time, which is where Ivan used to sit. He’s still not there. I know he’s never going to be there again, but I can’t help looking.

I feel fairly confident that this episode of my life will subside in time, and probably sooner than later. I tell myself that I am alone, I will always be alone, and that I need to get used to it.

I’m trying. I really am. Some days I’m not as convinced as others, but then I can go a few days in a row, and be just about ok. Personally, I don’t think it has anything to do with faith, as I have a strong faith that the Lord is holding me up, and giving me the courage to continue.

It’s me. I find I have days, moments within those days, where I just can’t go on. I have to get out of the apartment, and go for a walk, long, or short makes no difference. I just need to get out of here. Here, where I’m alone. With my grief.

Until next time, stay happy, and healthy in the Lord.

Ivan left me with a brand new, beautiful Sony a6000 HD camera, and multiple different sizes of lenses.

So, I’ve decided to take up photography in my abundant spare time. I’ve asked my buddy Max to teach me how to use the camera as all of the buttons, and knobs are most confusing. He has sent me several different things to start with, as I told him I needed to start at the beginning.

I figured out how to charge the battery, once I found the battery, and charger, and got that done. I’ll start tomorrow with his basic instructions, take some photos in the park, and go from there. I’m not going to let anything go to waste that I am now in possession of, except all of the computer stuff.

I’m going to sort all of his tools, and computer parts into organized places, and then eventually decide what to do with it all. We have about 6 hundred screws in different colors, lengths, and strengths. We have electric tools, different saws, reciprocating, table, jigs, etc. I may be taking up carpentry as well. I would really enjoy doing that. That is actually something I’ve always wanted to do.

Until next time, stay happy, and healthy in the Lord.

I am so very tired of looking for something I just had in my hands.

I put it down somewhere, but just where that somewhere was, is a complete mystery for anywhere from 30 seconds to several agonizing minutes. The other day, I was replacing the shower head in our bathroom, and I had been using the roll of Teflon tape. When I went to use it again, it was no where to be seen. When I finally found it, I had put it back in the cabinet from whence I had taken it. Well, that was a real pisser.

Now, I’ve hung a painting, and a large piece of embroidered felt, but cannot, for the life of me, find our favorite painting, the one showing a chapel at Desierto de Liones, a former convent about 45 minutes from where I am now. We visited one time when we first came down on vacation, and we bought the painting to remember the visit. It has been here, in the living room for ages.

Until now. Now, when I’m finally ready to hang it, I can’t find it anywhere. I’ve prayed about it, asking God to please show me where I put it, and

Nope. Nothing yet. One of these days He’ll show me where it is. This must be a lessen in patience. Not sure why though. I’ve become quite patient since moving here.

Even if I have to say so myself. I guess I just did.

I’ll let you know when He makes it clear to me where the painting is hiding, and if it’s here, and not still in Bettendorf, I’ll hang it in the bedroom, I’ll take a photo and let you see it. For now, though, I have only hung up the painting of a cute, small cottage with beautiful bougainvilleas that we bought years ago.

That’s sure going to be something if we left it with our neighbors that bought our house. I’ll definitely let you know.

Until next time, stay happy, and healthy in the Lord.

Post script: a very happy, though belated birthday to our grandson Lucas, and a happy birthday to our granddaughter Sawyer. Missing you both more than words can say.

Post post script: It’s 9/15/25, and the Lord has decided, I guess, that I’ve shown enough patience for this event. I was led to the painting this morning, and have hung it on the wall in our bedroom. Let me show you.

I spent the afternoon rearranging dressers.

The day before yesterday I packed up Ivan’s clothes, and gave them to our friend Jesús, and he took them to his families. Then I put all of our bedding, well, the top sheets, bottom sheets, and pillow cases, anyway, into both dressers.

This morning I decided I didn’t like the set up the way it was, so I swapped one dresser out of each of the spare bedrooms. Now, it’s just about right.

In one spare room there were two lower style dressers, which I had been using. In the other room were two taller dressers, though one is about 6” shorter than the other, that Ivan used. All of the necessaries for watching the TV, which we haven’t done since moving in here, are now on the lower style dresser, and, once I get things a bit more squared away, I’m going to attempt to watch it. I’ll probably be just in time for nothing left of the WNBA season.

It will be interesting to watch something on a screen larger than 12”.

Until next time, stay happy, and healthy in the Lord.

Don’t ever think that you can’t __________.

You can. I have. I am.

Ivan, and I had a list of things that needed doing that is the length of my arm. He’s not with me anymore, so the list is now mine. I’m taking my time doing the things on that list, but I’m going to do them. I will get them done.

So far, I’ve fixed the small window screen in our bathroom that I tried to fix 2 years ago. I wasn’t able to, so I started showering in the guest bathroom across the hall. The screen had been at an angle, looking as if it would fall out of the window. I couldn’t get it back in alignment, and closed. That bothered me so that I couldn’t shower in there.

Not long after Ivan passed, I got the step stool, (I really need to get a small ladder), and a flat head screw driver, put the tip in the edging of the screen, and within minutes, pulled the screen back in, and aligned it to the window. Job done. I have since returned to showering in our ensuite bathroom.

Ivan used to sit in his plush rocking chair just inside the spare bedroom across the hall from our bedroom, at a small plastic table we bought at Costco, (we both had the same set up), with his monitor, Mac mini, and his keyboard. He had a solid internet connection because the modem was just behind him, sitting on the top of the headboard of the spare bed.

I, on the other hand, sitting at the table in the living room, got sporadic reception. In fact, so little reception that I usually sat at my little Costco table with my iPad Pro, and a bottle of water, across the hall in our bedroom.

In our bedroom has been this large circle of internet cable, about 15ft in length, that I’ve successfully hidden behind my chair, trying to ignore it, hoping it would go away. However, when I disassembled Ivan’s set up, and brought the Mac mini out to the living room, and set it up there using the Vizio tv that has been gathering dust for 4 years, I wondered how I could get better reception than what I was getting.

Duh! I went back to the spare bedroom where the modem had been, looked at the cable coming in, and tried to figure out how to get more length so I could take the modem out to the living room. Then the light came on. Take the cable from our bedroom, down the hall to the living room, and connect the modem to that.

So, I did. Our good friend Jesús, (used to be the concierge here until recently), came over today, and tacked the cable up over the tops of the bedroom doors, and down the hallway for me, and now I have consistent internet in the living room.

I still have many things I want to do, but I’ll get them done poco a poco. Little by little. I’m not going anywhere soon.

Until next time, stay happy, and healthy in the Lord.

It’s 3:15am and I can’t sleep.

This is the first night since Ivan died that I haven’t been able to sleep. Not sure why.

Well, actually, that may not be entirely true. I do have a tendency, now, to nod off while I’m watching something on the computer, here in the living room. I blink, then realize that I haven’t opened my eyelids, and go with that for however long, until I startle myself awake.

Well, then I’m done for the next little while. But tonight, I didn’t fall asleep, in fact, I went to bed too soon, I think. I was kind of sleepy, but not really sleepy, and I think that’s what caused me to “get my second wind” as Ivan used to say.

That is so annoying, I can’t say it. And I can’t figure out how to decrease the light emitting from this tv, it is so bright. Oh, did I mention I’m relearning how to use a PC? I’ve used my iPad Pro, and iPad ProMax for so long I’ve forgotten how to use a PC. I’m learning, slowly.

I’m going to watch a bit of who knows what, and go back to bed. See you in the next post.

Until next time, stay happy, and healthy in the Lord.

I found the best recipe, for me, for “crackers”.

No, they’re not crackers as you’re used to crackers. They aren’t like Saltines, or Ritz crackers, but they’re delicious just the same. In fact they have a consistency similar to a shortbread cookie, though not sweet. The recipe is by Arman Liew, of Bigmansworld.com.

It has 2 ingredients, almond flour, and cheddar cheese, though it also requires a pinch of salt, and I add 1/4 tsp. flax seeds. He has an alternative to the cheese, which is to add 1 egg, and 1 T. melted coconut oil. I tried that first, forgetting that I had cheddar cheese in the fridge. Trust me when I tell you the cheese version is so much better.

The recipe is simple, just blitz it all up in the food processor, spread it between 2 pieces of parchment paper, roll it out, bake it, and enjoy. I’ll let you look up the full recipe if you’re interested.

Until next time, stay happy, and healthy in the Lord.

Mine has changed dramatically since I have stopped eating wheats, grains, and sugar.

It may not seem like much, but I have found that instead of printing out all of the recipes I want to try, I have started to write them on paper, by hand.

It’s a novel idea, in this day, and age, but nevertheless, it’s what I’ve taken to doing. And my letters are completely different than in any time in my past. The words are legible, and uniform. I honestly don’t remember a time when my penmanship was uniform. Silly though it may be to you, it has shown me the evil hold that sugar, especially, then wheat, then grains, has had on me.

Speaking of being free from the aforementioned, I find that I have very little appetite, TYJ, and that I don’t have to stuff myself to keep sated until the next time I eat. I stop eating, frequently, about 6pm, and don’t eat again until at least noon. I plan what I’m going to have for my brunch, go about my morning habits, prayer, exercise, morning ablutions, well, you get the idea. I’m content to wait until after my first walk, wherever that takes me, to then prepare, and eat finally.

It has only been 4 days, but I feel so different, so less stressed about what to eat next, when to eat next, to make sure I eat enough to last until the next meal. I feel lighter, less dense. It sounds crazy, I know, I just reread what I typed, but it’s true. I thought I wouldn’t be able to give up those types of food that I do so enjoy, but I have. I’m changing from the inside out, and I can’t wait to tell you all of the wonderful things I feel.

Until next time, stay happy, and healthy in the Lord.

He talks to me.

In the thunder. And has for weeks now. Even before he died.

We have had nightly rain, and thunderstorms for weeks now, easily 8 weeks. So, some of the lightening, and the following thunder, has been significant. When we’ve had exceptional thunder, Ivan would ask me, from across the hall, “Did you call down the thunder?” I’d answer that “Absolutely. It’s to tell you that I love you.” “I love you too” he’d answer.

There have been many thunderstorms since he left me, but whenever I hear the thunder, I know we’re having the same, short, but important conversation. Yes, my love, I love you.

Thank God for the thunder.

Until next time, stay happy, and healthy in the Lord.

Post script: Find some way to communicate with your love, your best friend, so you’re never alone after they’re gone.

Post post script: it’s 9/16/25, and it has rained, with thunder, every night since Ivan died. Just thought you might be interested to know that. ❤️‍🩹